I’ve heard it said that absentmindedness is a sign of genius. Well, They say a lot of things don’t they but you couldn’t prove that particular one by me. Not in a million years you couldn’t. I’m absentminded as all get out and I have yet to see one smidgen of genius poke it’s little head around the corner and say “hi, howyadoin?”. I can truthfully say that Mensa has never been caught beating down my door, that I can assure you. I’m not stupid in the least mind you, I just wouldn’t have graduated magna cum laud from Sister Mary Penalty’s School for Immaculately Gifted Human Beings, that’s all.
Oh sure, there have been times in my life when I could see a solution that no one else could see or fix problems with a machine or an electronic device that no one else could seem to fix and even made friends with ornery type animals when no one else could but I think just about everyone has those types of “ah-ha” experiences in life at one time or another. Besides, I have a habit of relating to things like machines and animals better than I relate to people which of course in my experience, stands to reason. After all, machines and animals don’t appear to be doing their utmost best to do themselves in now do they?
Hmmm…I was talking about absentmindedness wasn’t I. Yes I was so let’s continue.
Life, since the beginning, seems to have been a constant battle with myself when it came to things like glasses, keys, checkbooks, pens, pencils, favorite coffee mugs, the occasional pet…things of that nature. Once I actually became so completely frustrated that I could not find my car keys I threw them against the wall.
If anyone didn’t get that last line just read it again please.
Hard to believe isn’t it?
I have sat on more pairs of reading glasses than I have ever worn for more than 3 months. We have a pair of reading glasses in every room of the house, some rooms have two pairs of different strengths and all of them are off limits to me because anything I pick up has a bad habit of immediately disappearing and (in the case of said reading glasses) getting sat on. That’s not my wife’s rule in case you were wondering…it’s mine! I tell ya’, if the thing in my hand is not a matter a national security, I’ll pick it up and make it go away–guaranteed.
I should bottle this stuff and sell it on Ebay. Make a fortune I would.
The ironic thing about all this is just about the time I almost got a handle on this little malady of the mind I found, much to my dismay, that I had reached that point in life that is commonly described as “Middle Age”. This is supposedly where most people seem to have some sort of crisis ( I didn’t seem to have one of these by the way. Probably slipped my mind) and have been slowly creeping downhill ever since.
Ah well. Now what was I talking about? Oh yeah…
Through all this I do well enough at work, though I have a tendency to seek out the type of employment where I work mostly alone for what should be obvious reasons. I get sick of the wisecracks. And so far, my wife still finds this trait of mine somewhat endearing and all that and if not, she covers it up well. I have to say that I do admire her tolerance level when it comes to my frustrated searching about everyday.
She also apparently thinks I have more going for me than what I currently believe I do. For her kind thoughts and the fact that she is amazingly intelligent and talented, it does take the edge off the frustration factor.
I have hope though. I truly believe that many years from now as I’m lying in bed ready to breath my last and head to the next great adventure, I’ll have this truly amazing insight. Within this insight I will finally see what Life, The Universe, and Everything* is all about in stunning clarity and I won’t be disappointed.
That’s the important part…not being disappointed and for some reason, I’m positive that will not be the case. Finding out what the Question is to the Answer 42* would be frosting on the cake but we can’t ask for everything now can we?
So I’ll happily go on looking for things that are right under my nose and misplacing the same things everyday ad infinitum for that seems to be my forte in life. And if that genius ever does show up and I manage to cobble up some life changing type of thing-a-ma-jig, I absolutely swear upon my honor and anything else I may have of worth, that I will not let any government or large corporation get a hold of it.
Now where did I put the cat?
*Attributed to Douglas Adams great series of novels: “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy”
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