A Radioactive Egg Salad Sandwich

Radioactive egg salad sandwich

Of all the tests I have gone through since enrolling with the Veterans Administration in pursuit of various possible reliefs of service related medical problems, I just recently went through the strangest one yet. Of course lying on a long, extremely hard, extremely narrow table that shoved me forthwith into some sort of scanning machine wasn’t unusual in the least. It was what I had to accomplish in preparation of this particular test that was rather unique:

I had to eat a…

Radioactive Egg Salad

Sandwich!

To wit:

What is a Gastric Emptying Scan?

We will ask you to swallow some food (usually an egg salad sandwich) containing a small amount of radioactive material. The food will travel to your stomach, and we will take a series of pictures tracking it as it passes into your intestine.

It did taste good though even though there wasn’t any coffee to go along with it and this was at 8:00 in the morning. I got through the no coffee part though with only minor tremors and didn’t threaten the medical tech who was running this adventure in isotope-laced cuisine with severe bodily harm more than a couple times as I recall. I do have a difficult time going without coffee in the morning despite the interesting choice of breakfast items.

Either way, I got through it alright and I was able to hit the road around 11:15 am or so and once a hamburger (the non-radioactive type) from one of the local fast food joints was wolfed down I rolled onto 91 north and was back up in Stove Pipe City by 2:00 pm and so far none of my body parts have started to glow yet. We shall see when I make my usual 3:00 in the morning run to the reading room before I can safely affirm that all of my various pieces/parts are non-illuminated.

Now I have to think here—I have two more tests to go in their attempt to remedy this particular service related malady of mine so I have to wonder…

What are they going to cook up next? :P

Comments

A Radioactive Egg Salad Sandwich — 6 Comments

  1. Kirk,
    I’m sorry for laughing but you do such a wonderful job of describing all your hellish tests, pokes, and prods compliments of the medical establishment. The no coffee is the PITS though, been there many times myself and it’s not pleasant. Hope they come up with some remedy for ‘what ails you’ quickly!

    Lighter note…I love the new look of your blog! Makes me want to consider again moving my blog. Hmm….but I seriously doubt if I know how to do this. Still fun to think about though.

  2. Heck, I didn’t know how to do it either, so I did it anyway. You have to find a host though (we use Bluehost). If you ever want to try it let me know and I can offer some info.

    You must have stopped by just as I changed it. I’m still tailoring it the way I want it.

    And don’t worry laughing…best medicine I know of! ;-)

  3. Kirk! Just getting caught up here. LOVE this description, I had to go through this a few years ago. Kind of jealous, b/c you got to eat an sandwich. I had to eat a hard-boiled egg. (Unfortunately, I hate eggs.) (Go figure. Anchovies, not a problem. Eggs, problem.)

    Did you get to see the monitor and watch as they videoed your digestive system? That made it worthwhile. Very, very cool.

  4. A hard boiled egg? Sheesh, what a rip off! They even took the time to toast the bread on my sandwich. I did take a peek at the monitor but it soon lost any appeal it might have had. That is until the remnants of my radioactive breakfast sandwich started dropping into my small intestine. That peaked my curiosity for at least 3 or 4 seconds. :P

    Nice to hear from ya’ Dan.

  5. My son had the egg sandwich an hr. ago. Did you find out any more about what they may be able to do to help? He’s trying to get ready for a Pancreas and Kidney Transplant.

    • Welcome Connie!

      Sorry about the delay but I had to approve your comment–first time comment and all that. Thank the spammers.

      Sorry to hear about your son needing surgery. Hope all goes well. For myself, I ended up getting a fundoplication where they wrap the upper part of the stomach around the lower part of the esophagus in order to form a sort of artificial stomach valve or to at least assist what’s left of the original one. Comes from having uncontrollable acid reflux disease. The surgery went well for the most part.