One Lousy Week-A Needed Vent
Posted by Kirk M on 08 Oct 2007 | Tagged as: Life as a veteran
It’s been one hell of a week. So that’s not the best way to open a post but since this is my personal type blog and that’s the way I’m feeling, I don’t see a problem with it. So I repeat, it’s been a hell of a week.
I’ve been down to the VA twice and during the endoscopy I underwent they took three separate biopsies from two different places in my esophagus and one from my stomach. Ever bit your tongue or the inside of your cheek while chewing? That’s the same sensation I got from those three biopsies–like I bit my own insides. And with the holiday weekend I won’t get the results until sometime this week.
Meanwhile, in order to tone down this rather acidic situation (I suffer from severe acid reflux which I somehow acquired during my time in the Navy and a damaged esophagus thereof), they’ve doubled the dosage of two medications I’ve been taking, one for the acid reflux and another for the pain caused by the damaged esophagus. So far the pain has been slightly reduced although I’m hoping for better, but the double dosage of the pain med makes me very drowsy even though it’s non narcotic.
And I need to get back to work.
As long as I’m home and taking proper care of myself I can deal with this malady. As soon as I get back to work I start losing ground again and within two weeks I’m back out. I suppose that shouldn’t surprise me any. Three years ago I was rated at 50% overall and now it’s 70%. This wasn’t from applying for increases in disability compensation either. Just things getting a bit worse every year. And of course the biggest problem here is money.
One might think that the above disability rating would bring in enough money to live on. Think again. The ironic part of this whole situation is once I reached 70% I can automatically apply for 100%. The catch is that I have to be officially unemployed and get this–it doesn’t matter if they let me go or I quit. That’s good right? Well it would be if I had several thousand dollars in the bank I could fall back on while the “powers that be” made up they’re collective minds on the increase request and there’s still no guarantee.
I hate crap like this.
Obviously there’s no finish to this yet and I certainly don’t see one coming over the horizon, just more waiting. All I (grudgingly) know is that my ability to earn a paycheck is rapidly coming to an end and I’m stuck without an option since my young, idiot, never seen one day of service, permanent smile plastered all over his face, moronic PCP (Primary Care Physician) at the VA refuses to acknowledge the difference between making a paycheck and working. He’s concerned about the psychological effect that I might be giving up when I’ve never quit anything in my life. But you can’t tell him that. I’ve got plenty of work at home to keep me active enough for the rest of my life but the difference is that I can sit or lie down when I need to, however long I need to, then back at it again. But you can’t tell him that either. I just don’t like the idea of spending the rest of my life as some pain ridden invalid. There’s too much to see and do yet.
Okay, enough of this crap. I’ve got it off my chest for another month or so and now it’s back to business. Thanks for listening.
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4 Comments »
on 08 Oct 2007 at 9:11 pm 1.janet said …
Well geez Kirk that’s a b*tch and I’m sorry you have to suffer in more ways then one. I suffer a little for acid reflux, but now where near the extent that you do. I have my very own special malady, RA.
On a brighter note, I have tagged you with a BOB (Break Out Blogger) award. I really think you broke out a long time ago. I hope you get a couple extra readers and some well deserved coffee! When my reflux acts up coffee is out of the question.
on 08 Oct 2007 at 9:19 pm 2.KirkM said …
Hi Janet,
Would you believe I had to delete this post and then republish? Of course it was only after that I realized I lost your comment as well. But thanks to FeedBurner which picked it up in my comments feed I was able to put it back in.
Anyway, thanks for the BOB! I’ve been an SOB, a BAD and now a BOB. They say three’s complete so that must mean I’m a well rounded person.
RA wouldn’t stand for rheumatoid arthritis would it? Did you happen to have rheumatic fever when you were young? If so that makes us a pair.
on 08 Oct 2007 at 9:39 pm 3.janet said …
Not that I’m aware of. I think I would have known right? Mother has never said as much, but I guess never asked.
on 09 Oct 2007 at 8:12 am 4.KirkM said …
Morning Janet,
Oh yes, you would have definitely known. Raging high fevers that lasted for 2-3 days at a time and all the aches and pains that go with such things. they warned me that my joints would get creaky sometime in my forties…and they were right. That’s okay though. I beat myself up so badly in the sub force I hardly even notice.