We have this cat. He’s the one in the picture there guarding my coffee mug. His name is BV and he’s the eldest of our three cats with 12 years behind him. I believe makes him about middle age as far as cats go. And the reason he is standing guard is not because of he enjoys making a pest out of himself like most cats do. He’s there because he likes to lick out the inside of my mug when I’m finished with my morning coffee. Sometimes he doesn’t even wait that long (GACK! Cat germs!). If it wasn’t for the fact that the coffee in said mug is hot when I first sit it on my computer desk in preparation for reading the morning news, I’d probably never get more than a half a cup most times. But that’s not all.

He likes Pop-tarts as well.

One of my favorite snacks when I need a little boost during the day is a good old Pop-tart. I think they’ve been around forever haven’t they? 11 Seconds in the microwave (they have to be warm ya’ now) and I’m set. That is until BV comes around. I swear that cat can smell a hot cherry Pop-tart all the way from the cellar…while using the litter box. Or maybe the microwave beeps just that certain way that tells him there’s a pastry with his name on it all ready for him. Of course he also knows I’m a complete pushover where he’s concerned and it’s easy pickings. And the small piece I give him has to have jelly in it so I can’t just pawn off the crust either. The saving grace is that he can only tolerate a small piece before his feline type taste buds cry for something more cattish in flavor. Like whizzed tuna guts.

And if that isn’t strange enough…he likes Popsicles as well.

So do I.

Knowing full well that the term Popsicle is actually a brand name and not a name per say for just any quiescently frozen, flavored, water based confection on a stick, no matter what the brand might be it’s generally called a Popsicle. And he likes them. And so do I and he knows it.

Now I like those single pops on a stick types. I never could wrap my mouth around one of those classic two stick, dribble down your chin, stretch your lips until they crack ‘sicles. I like the single version much better and they have to be citrus in nature. My wife also prefers these types as well but rather than citrus she likes the old standards and her favorite is root beer. Guess which type BV likes?

Not hers.

He’ll actually have TO the audacity to sit on my lap and lick my citrus stick for me as if he were saving me the trouble and the possibility of getting a sudden cramp in my tongue caused by temperature differential. His favorite is lemonade which is stranger still.

Again, I get the major portion because BV’s tongue starts to protest after a dozen licks or so and forces him to go hunt down down something more natural to a house cat. Like those small, hard, dry nuggets made from bovine entrails.

Oh, and the mushroom soup? That’s one thing he doesn’t like which is why I had it for lunch.

Didn’t you folks need to know this?