I should have known better. How many times has this happened before and still I did it again and now I’m suffering the same type of consequences. Will I ever learn?
To understand the last bit you need to know something about me and that something is my immune system. It’s a rather good one actually. Fights off anything that comes along. Suffice it to say that I could walk barefoot (with open blisters on the soles of my feet no less) across a shag carpet smeared with "Essence of Bubonic Plague" and the worst that I would suffer is possibly a sniffle or two. That’s it. Does that mean I don’t get sick? That I’m one of those types that never has a single cold in their entire lives, those who tend to be disgustingly healthy until they drop dead "after a short illness" anywhere between the ages of 46 and 62? No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. Those people are resistant to disease and other types of nasty’s but when it comes down to fighting off one of those nasty’s that happen to get past that resistance, their immune system is almost nonexistent.
I’ve walked through hallways of sick and suffering coworkers coughing and hacking their way to whatever department meeting they needed to infect with the glow of health surrounding me, passing out small boxes of facial tissue to those that had run out and offering shots of Nyquil for the other unfortunates that had that "sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever like they needed to rest" feeling. Besides, it made the meetings much more fun when half the occupants were feeling miserable and the other half was sloshed on cold medication.
No my friends, despite my problems with these rotten service-related disabilities of mine, when it comes down to regular flu’s and colds I still walk healthily among the sick and infirm whilst they chuck wadded up used facial tissues in my general direction in exasperated vexation. In fact there’s only one single flaw, one major weakness in my armor of immunity and that is…
Kids! (especially under the age of six)
I can kiss my fevered and flu-ish lady ten times a day, breath the same air that sick people have sneezed in without fear of infection but get me within 100 feet downwind of a sick child and I’m done for. For all intensive purposes I should be banned from even thinking of picking up any child under the age of puberty sick or not. Alas, but it is all in vain. I can’t help myself, I’m just a pushover when it comes to little kids. I love ‘em. And they love me too, always have and when I see that little face looking up at me I melt all over, up they come into my arms and I’m making with those silly noises that most adults revert to in the presence of any kid between the ages of zero and when the kid actually starts stringing sentences together. In fact I hold the world record for helping little kids find their lost parents in big box stores and largish supermarkets and I pay the price nearly every single time.
I have come to the conclusion that a small child’s sole purpose in life is to test the immunity system of any adult they encounter. Those that fail said test keep the makers of cold medicines and various antibiotics in business and this time it was my newest (almost) grandchild that took me down. It was our usual Sunday dinner with Laurie’s youngest son’s family. As soon as I walked into the apartment, "Young Sir William" (just turned 16 months) was in my arms and in his delight he gave me a loving package of fresh, infectious diseases that now have the possession of my entire body along with a fever of 102 to make the whole thing complete.
I should have known better.
So here I am today after two absolutely miserable nights (I actually managed to fight it off for nearly two days) feeling like I haven’t felt since I had rheumatic fever as a kid. Joints screaming, alternating sweats and chills, throat feeling like someone took a wood rasp to it and sinuses like Niagara Falls. And all for the love of a child. When will I ever learn?
Better be gone by Sunday dinner though. I’m slated to be "Young Sir William’s" horse this time (for as long as my back and knees hold up that is).
Possibly Related Matter
Tags: health
February 27th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Oh Kirk, I’m so sorry you’re sick! Sounds quite nasty too. That’s one thing you didn’t need. Sending get well wishes along the way.
February 28th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Thanks Elaine,
It’s such an honor to have a little child lay his blessing on you. “I think your neat (smile, gurgle, b-b-b etc). Here, have some germs.”
Laurie’s got it now. She blames me.
March 2nd, 2008 at 7:01 pm
You poor thing. Get some rest Kirk and when you are better we’ll see you at Bloggertalk?
March 3rd, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Hi Rose,
I regret to inform you that I died yesterday. I’m replying to your comment out of sheer tenacity.
Okay, okay, I’m not really dead and I promise I’ll start lurking around Bloggertalk once I feel more myself.