Just Thinkin’

No, it’s not what you probably thought it was although I’d be interested in what ran through your mind when you first read the title. In the risk of disappointing anyone as to the actual subject of this post, it has to do with medications actually and the one’s I have to take everyday to keep me from falling over on a rather permanent basis.

I have a rather large 7 day pill box you see (keeps me from losing the thing) that we have to refill every Sunday evening after dinner. Over the past few years I’ve had to go from just filling the morning and evening compartments of each day to filling every damn one of the things, 4 compartments per day which can become very trying at times–I hate taking pills let alone trying to remember which one goes where.

So knowing myself the way I do plus the fact that Laurie seems to want to keep me around a bit longer, for what reason I couldn’t possibly fathom (she’ll beat me profusely for saying that by the way), she sits by my side and double checks to make sure that I get all the correct pills in the correct compartments. She does this in fear that I might mix them up if doing it myself and end up turning into a small purple marmoset or perhaps something even worse. And over the course of time she has developed nicknames for each of one of these little darlings based either on the shape, size or sometimes both. It helps her keep proper track of things you know.

Now I’m actually starting to refer to each of these little wonders of mine by the same nicknames which provides me with no end of embarrassment when renewal time comes around for any one of the little buggers and I accidentally use the nicknames without thinking. Once you see the list of these nicknames you’ll understand why…

• Big white one
• Little white one
• Cat’s eyes
• The Geritol (no, it’s not actually)
• Flippers
• Big red one
• Flying saucer squash
• Poop
• The pregnancy vitamin (we’re not going to go there)

There’s a couple-three more in the lot that haven’t yet earned a nickname but don’t worry—it’s just a matter of time.

So, as I’m sure you can see, it can become quite an interesting conversation if I slip up and not use the proper name but the nickname instead. Good thing they know me down there.

To wit:

“VA, Telephone Advice, this is Anne, may I help you?”

“Yeah, this is [insert: name and Soc Sec number here] and I need a refill on cat’s eyes.”

“Excuse me, sir?”

“And the flippers, I need more flippers.”

“Uh-huh, flippers and cat’s eyes…anything else?”

“How about a poop then? One of the big ones, not those two little things you keep sending me. I can’t get my fingers into ‘em.”

“Do you need some bat entrails while you’re at it, sir?”

“Oh come on now, let’s not get funny about this, I’m running low on this stuff and I’ve no refills left.”

“Sorry, so who’s your Primary Care Physician, sir? Have you perhaps seen her lately?”

“I see her Tuesday, why?”

“I think you better ask her about this, I’m not sure if we’ll have any poop in the facility until Monday afternoon.”

“Fresh out of poop, huh?”

“I’m afraid so, sir.”

“Good idea, then I could just pick all of ‘em up there instead of waiting on the mail and say, that reminds me. It’s almost time to renew the flying saucer squash too. Thanks, Anne.”

“No problem, that’s what I’m here for. And don’t forget to take your pregnancy vitamin before bed now.”

“I won’t, take it easy.”

“You too.”

*click*

Possibly Related Matter

• On The Art of Not Posting
• Fluffing the Covers
• Quit a Pain Killer. So Where’d my Eyesight Go?
• Medication Breakdown
• Medication and Blogging Don’t Mix

Tags: medication, pills

4 Comments »

Trackback This Post | Subscribe to the comments through RSS Feed