Same sex marriage in Vermont. I suppose I have to say something about it seeing as how I live here and all but I doubt many people are going to beat down my door just to hear me say it. Still, I feel I need to say something—and here it is:
I don’t care.
So with that said I guess I could end this post right here and now but that would hardly give anyone anything to think about now would it? So I think I’ll go on a bit more.
I come from a very unique background, said background that was initially thrust upon me by a long childhood illness which, if anyone should ask me, ‘where did you grow up?’, I would have to respond by saying, ‘in a hospital’.
I also had a wonderful set of parents who set examples, both good and bad, that gave me an invaluable education that stood me in good stead when I took my first shaky adult steps. I thank them both to the bottom of my heart for the experience.
Thus was the beginning of attaining a rather open and ‘sideways’ way of looking at things if you will, the kind of thinking that has stayed with me throughout my life despite the best efforts of others to mold and/or beat me into some sort of conforming shape that made them feel more comfortable. Suffice it to say that after 50 years of what you could call a rather amazing and varied life, my thinking process and subsequent outlook on life in general tends to be a very objective one. And my outlook on this same sex marriage business is no exception.
Really—I don’t care.
Now don’t mistake my ‘not caring’ for anything resembling apathy. It’s not and it’s two different things entirely so perhaps I should rephrase a bit:
Same sex marriage doesn’t bother me a bit. Not one whit.
A same sex couple wishes to get married and receive all the rights that heterosexual married couples receive? Then, by all means, get married and more power to them I say. If other people get their respective noses out of joint because two people actually found happiness their lifetime, they can just get over themselves. Heterosexuals hardly have what you might call a good track record as far as the happiness thing goes. We’re constantly screwing our relationships up.
Of course you should know a bit about me first in order to put the above statements into proper perspective.
To put it simply, I’m a 100% All-American, full of testosterone, heterosexual male and damn proud of it! I love my country. I served my country and I believe in what she stands for. I also realize that my country and it’s people are so far from “perfect” that you couldn’t find “perfect with a radio telescope.
We’re so full of prejudice, bias and preconceived notions it’s a wonder that we’re able to survive from one day to the next. We’re also wise and full of goodness, compassion and caring, which makes things even more confusing when it comes to deciding how we feel about something.
As far as I’m concerned I view same sex marriages, or more to the point, those who prefer the same sex for an intimate relationship, about the same as I view religious beliefs. Believe as you choose, just don’t bang me over the head with your beliefs. Dealing with my own set of beliefs keeps me busy enough as it is, I don’t need any extra, thank you. This is nothing more than I ask of anyone.
Do as you like. Be with whomever you wish. Believe as you may just as long as you harm no one in the process and the phrase “harm no one” does not apply to those who get all bent out of shape at the concept that gays and lesbians actually do exist (gasp!).
Some of you may find it hard to believe but the concept of marriage does not have it’s beginning in Christianity. The concept existed long beforehand and has little to do with God or the bible itself. Nor is Christianity the only belief system in this world. Not even the most popular. But then we’re down to beliefs again aren’t we?
Live and let live. That idea has been around about as long as humans have thought a bit of privacy, peace and solitude now and then might be actually be a good thing. So why is somebody else’s beliefs and/or desires so personally disturbing then?
Many will cry out that it’s against what the bible teaches. That God doesn’t approve of such things. And which god are we talking about here? There’s tons of gods out there roaming around so why does this particular one matter so much when another’s happiness is concerned? Why does this one god get to call the shots here. Oh, wait. It’s not the god, it’s the people who believe in the god that are causing all the hullabaloo.
The truth of the matter is is that it bothers the person, not some all knowing deity that supposedly created the us in the first place complete with a full set of assets and liabilities. Shakes up their belief system it does and people don’t like their belief systems shaken. It’s the anchor that holds everything else in place. It’s what keeps them sane. And look what happens when someone/something starts tugging at that anchor. Sanity takes a lunch break.
The sad part about the whole thing is that there’s no reason to be shaken up at all. It all falls back on that thing about live and let live. If, according to “God almighty”, it’s so wrong to desire the same sex then who are we to interfere at all? God takes care of all in the end now doesn’t He?
Enough about that. The biggest problem with things like this is that people always have to drag religion into it. And if that fails then there’s always the rallying cry that it will harm the children. Okay, I can see where many would find that valid reason but, and I’ll probably will get burned for this, it’s not a reason at all.
What we as adults keep forgetting is that kids are tremendously flexible and accepting. Adults are not. I can remember distinctly being able to tell the difference between “the norm” and “something different” when I was a child. And I was taught by my parents to treat everyone the same, that being black or oriental or Jewish or gay (whatever word we used back then) or what-have-you was no different, wrong or right then it was to be who we were “We”, meaning my folks and me. That you “judge” a person only by the way they conduct themselves.
Strange logic that.
Years of experience now has shown me that kids can handle things like a same-sex relationship or inter-racial marriage for example with ease. But it’s up to the adults responsible for the care of those children to keep their heads on straight and not cram hatred and fear of these “others” (as they may perceive them) down their little throats.
Encountering these sort of things are not going to “change” our children in and of itself. Not communicating with our children or forcing our own insecurities and prejudices upon them when they ask the inevitable questions will.
In the end my little opinion will hardly matter of course. My feelings on the subject at hand are just my own set of beliefs that I have accumulated and built up over my own lifetime. And I’m just as prone to getting all bent out of shape when those beliefs are threatened just as much as anyone else is. Still, one thing I’m sure of by now is that after scrutinizing my own beliefs over the years, I’m fairly content with them.
One thing though before I end this post of mine. On the subject of the churches being sued by gays and lesbians for refusing to perform same sex marriages? Forget it! Just forget it.
You have absolutely no right to sue any church that refuses to perform a same sex marriage no more than I had any right to sue a certain catholic church in Long Island that refused to marry my first wife and I in the cathedral proper due to my refusal to raise my kid catholic only. Because of this we were remanded to the chapel for our marriage ceremony which was a minor scandal to some of my wife’s relatives I’m sure.
It all comes down to beliefs doesn’t it? That no one, no matter who they are or where they may be, has the right to force their way of life upon another if they do not choose to accept that way of life. That includes forcing the people of any given church to accept what they are simply unwilling or unable to accept. They may accept the person or couple in of themselves but find that the line is drawn at performing the actual marriage. So be it.There will be other places that have no problems with such arrangements that are easily found.
That’s it then. I’ve had my say and I’ll always welcome yours of course. We all think and believe differently which, of course, is the main reason this post exists in the first place. So in an effort to bring this to an end…
