A few years back my then Primary Care Physician (PCP) at the VA, whom I shall refer to as “Young Dr. Young” henceforth, had me take a pulmonary function test. This just happened to be the period of my life that was several months after my parents had passed away (my sister and I did the home care/home hospice thing and we were beyond wiped) and consequently when my health was at it’s worst. This little test had me blowing for all I was worth into an apparatus consisting of several large vials that were filled with a clear liquid.
The bubbles I was producing with all my huffing and puffing were quite pretty or at least I thought so in my oxygen deprived state.
But paying attention once again to the first paragraph of this post, the reader will have noticed that I had stated that I was, in fact, not in the best of shape of my life and still smoking at the time.
Okay, so I didn’t actually mention the smoking part in the first paragraph. I’m forgetful that way.
And due to this lack of health on my part and the results of the previously mentioned pulmonary function test, Young Dr. Young took it upon himself to pronounce to everyone at large, which included entering said diagnosis into my medical record, that I had COPD (often referred to as emphysema and/or chronic bronchitis).
I said horseshit.
Now, coming back to the present, I recently requested of my new PCP, whom I will refer to as simply “my PCP” (and she’s much better), a second pulmonary function test as I not only had doubts about the first test results but of Young Dr. Young himself.
The second pulmonary function test took place this past July 23rd. This time they stuck me into a Plexiglas booth where I blew my brains out into tube that was stuck in a box that was hooked to hose that ran outside the booth and was connected to a computerized something or other (gasp) and all very modern, technically advanced and no bubbles.
I got the results of this second test in Friday’s mail and you know what those results said?
Normal!
Yes, I said normal. The test results reported no abnormalities, anomalies or reduced or degraded pulmonary functions whatsoever. Nothing, nada, zip, no problemos. For some odd reason I wasn’t surprised about this.
Not too shabby for a 50 year old man previously diagnosed with having a pulmonary disease that’s known to get progressively worse as time goes on even if I quit smoking…which I did…over 3 years ago. So much for Young Dr Young’s expertise and diagnosis.
He’s also the one who diagnosed me as “bipolar” which I also said horseshit to. He actually rescinded that diagnosis shortly before I gave him the boot (fooled him on that one didn’t I?).
It’s a good thing I’m not the type to worry about these things isn’t it?
The first test was done when you were still smoking though correct? It very well could be the test did indicate the beginning stages of COPD. And now years later being smoke free it makes perfect sense that the test would be perfectly normal. At least that’s how I see it.
Hi Elaine – Well, that’s the way I saw it too but Young Dr. Young was intent on telling me that now that I had COPD I always would and it most likely would get worse as time went on no matter what I did. Good thing I don’t believe everything people tell me. Kind of like a reverse faith type of thing? What I don’t believe doesn’t necessarily make it not true but probably won’t hurt me anyway?
There you go ! Don’t go ’round claiming a thing for yourself just on the word of another,especially if you have doubts about it in the first place.Now on the other hand,”NORMAL”,in this circumstance, is not a bad thing to be claiming. I hate it when folks say “my cancer”,etc.,(I might slip up sometimes)You probably didn’t know how to “blow” that well,you were used to “sucking” on a cigarette.Congrats on passing the test.(curious,why did he rescind the bi-polar diagnosis?)
Hi Sandie – I have to believe that he rescinded the bipolar diagnosis due to the obvious fact that I wasn’t? Of course after observing my fellow man/woman for the better part of five decades I have come to the firm conclusion that we’re all bipolar–it’s built-in human trait. It’s just that some folks can’t control this all-too-human trait that well.
And “normal” only applies to that pulmonary function test. The rest of me is fairly strange.