If you happened to be wondering where I’ve been lately (just be nice and say you have, okay?) I’ve been out and about trying to find a replacement for my wife’s ‘97 Mercury Sable Wagon which, after 220,000 miles or so, had finally gone beyond the point of. Oh, it still ran okay (it started and the tranny still made the tires go ‘round) but the rust holes in the lower part of the body, the rather disturbing noises that were coming from what was left of the undercarriage and the the headlights popping on and off whenever they happen to feel like it were definite signs that the old boy was long past being put out to pasture. Besides that, the local garage refused to be bought off this time and annual inspection was only 2 months away.

The final telling point that sent me on a state-wide search for a replacement was the day a rather large part of the car fell off while sitting in a parking lot. It wasn’t even windy.

I have to admire the old wagon though—it’s been through hell. Not that my wife is hard on cars, she’s not. It’s just the last ten years that she’s had it has been hell in the light that the wagon has been the sole transportation of her quilt business. What I mean by that is about 10,000 to 20,000 pounds of her products, display’s and the like has been stuffed into and on top of the old rig, at the same time, each trip, and hauled off to shows hundreds of miles away—and that’s just one way.

It’s been through hurricanes, blizzards, hail, rain, snow, sleet, nuclear explosions and smog. It’s had about 98 tons of road salt and sand shoved into it’s farthest recesses and blasted across it’s exterior and still it plowed on. The back end was getting a might saggy and it set off radioactive leakage alarms from 4 miles away but still it plowed on.

So it came to pass that the old thing had seen the last of the road and it was time for a new rig to take over. And after traveling far and wide to find just the right kind of car for my lady that would be able to do the same tasks the old one had done (not an easy task mind you) I finally succeeded. See below for the remarkable comparison

The old ‘97 wagon (minus the faded, broken hubcaps, saggy rear end and missing part)

The replacement (a 2001, except her 2001 one has mud flaps that say “Sable” on them.)

Alright, these aren’t the actual pictures of the cars but the years and the colors  are correct.

You would not believe how hard these things are to find and when you do they’re usually in about the same shape as her old one was. Ironically enough I finally found the new one (the one that has the mud flaps that say “Sable” on them) right across the street from her quilt shop at a family owned dealership that’s been there since 1785 (or so they say). This one has half the mileage that her old one did, runs like a champ, has a new windshield, brakes and cruise control “Off” button (‘cuz I made the dealer replace them).

Luckily for me, these rigs all rust in the exact same manner so, with 113,675 less miles on the odometer, I’ve been able to spot all the future holes before they happen and covered these vulnerable areas (I could spot them by the patches of blossoming rust) with the contents of a bottle of “Rust Not!”. Horribly expensive stuff that requires a new brush with every stroke but it definitely stops the rust. Two days and 157 brushes later, my wife has a solid machine that’s ready for the second 100K or so*.

*I did spot one non-inspection failing hole way down by the wee running boards at back lower corner of the driver’s side rear passenger door but nothing so serious that some duct tape and color matching spray paint didn’t take care of.

Good thing too since she’s got another show coming up. Only around 6500 pounds of show material is going this time—we thought we’d take it easy on the new wagon the first time out.