I heard that Judgement Day is coming this Saturday so I figured I might want to squeeze in a post before the end. Yup, yet another end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it approacheth and it’s sure to come this time due to planetary alignments (again), something to do with the number of days since Jesus was crucified, the possibility the Mayans got the date wrong and it may or may not involve zombies. And in the case that this Saturday does indeed involve zombie attacks then apparently this is the car you want to survive them in (click on image for more anti-zombie car pics and the article).

No matter how It (The End, Judgment Day, Armageddon, Ragnarok, etc)  comes all the devout will undoubtedly be heading to heavenward sometime on Saturday. But what about all their furry little friends left behind? Sorry but all these devout individuals wafting skyward are not Egyptian pharaohs–you can’t take ‘em with you so what happens to the poor creatures who have depended on you for their very survival, for love and affection, who have looked upon you as their mothers and fathers, their loving families? What happens to these poor creatures once they’re left behind by those they depended on? Well, no sweat, the atheists will take care of them for you.

Absolutely, the atheists have made a serious offer to take care of Fluffy, Polly and Ol’ Dog Tray after they’re left behind on the 21st of May, 2011. For a very reasonable fee of course and some services will even prorate your contract to 2012 just in case the Mayans got it right. So it looks like most things are covered here.

Back on the local front though I have some more personal type questions about this coming of the end of the world. You see, no one really actually knows if this is the coming of the Christian “Judgement Day” or the actual end of the world as predicted by the Mayans or due to planetary alignments throwing the earth out of it’s orbit and either freeze drying all of us by flinging our planet out into space or burning all of us up by tossing it into the sun. I mean, knowing the difference is really important here. If it’s the former then all sorts of questions arise:

• Will I have to mow the lawn after the 21st of May? (I fully expect to be one of those left behind for those 1000 years of peace the Bible talks about)
• If so, will it be beautiful and sunny and only sprinkle at night so I don’t have to wait on the rain to cut my grass?
• Will I still have to shovel snow?
• What about the mortgage, bills, etc? Are my creditors Christian? If so, what happens when they’re carried off? Do I still have to pay?
• Can I stop paying my bills now or wait until Sunday to be sure?
• What about the VA and the Feds? Can I still receive medical care and my medications through the VA…oh, wait…this is the federal government I’m talking about–they’re bound to stay so no problem there.
• Does 1000 years of peace mean lower gas prices?

Of course if it’s the latter then I guess there’s no sense asking any of the above questions is there?

Now there’s probably a lot more I could enjoy writing about on this subject but it’s way past lunchtime and my stomach is beginning to be severely annoyed with me for neglecting it. And in it’s current, re-plumbed condition it’s not wise to ignore it so that’s it for now. See you all after The End…

…or maybe not.